Everyone who knows me will say I don’t mind attention. Not in the, I need to seek approval from others kind of way or the kind that’s snotty and cocky, but I love interacting with others, I’m a natural born leader and I like my presence to be known. In every area of my personal and professional life I tend to be like this. But for some reason when it comes to putting myself out there in regards to my dream job, I am the complete opposite.
As early as kindergarten I can remember performing for my classmates and my family. When I was five I had a career day at school. We we’re supposed to come in dressed as what we wanted to be when we grew up and I went as Britney Spears. I brought in my purple boom-box (blast from the past) and a hook in microphone. I danced and sang to the whole song with no fear.
My favorite movie when I was a kid was the “Wizard of Oz”. In one particular scene Dorothy sings “Somewhere Over The Rainbow”. I remember singing that song over and over for my family. To go the extra mile I even re-enacted the scene in my living room by using props and mimicking her movements. I apologize to my family for having to listen to my mouse voice sing for hours on end and demanding them to watch me.
I also started dancing at a very young age, four to be exact. It became my life; when it was time to choose between acting/singing or dancing, I chose dance because I was fully committed to it and loved it. Why fix what’s not broken?
I regret this decision, a lot. I wish my parents would’ve pushed me to try other things such as acting and singing, but they weren’t the type of people to force me to do something. If I said no, then they respected it. So what does this have anything to do with my dream job?
Well, I was watching the “Wizard of Oz” a few days ago and thought back to that memory. It may be too late to become a wonderful singer or an A-list actress but I can shoot for another goal of mine, modeling.
This past august I entered a Scholarship Program (Pageant), fast forward three months later and I won my first title. It happened because I did it, I put myself out there. It has given me the confidence in every aspect of my life and where I needed it most.
So, I applied. Even if I don’t ever here back from the company, I can say I did it, I tried. That also doesn’t mean I give up, life is full of spotaneous surprises. It’s important I no longer fear putting myself out there and yes, there is risk but there is also great reward.