It’s been a while since I have posted any sort of writing. Almost four weeks to be exact, which is highly unlike me. It’s not that I have been too busy or haven’t’ had anything to write about. I have actually had plenty to write about but my posts stay in my draft folder waiting to be published. But none of them seem good enough.
I am perfectionist and a bit of a control freak, and lately my life has been anything but controllable. To start, my student loans officially start in less than a month and to say I am freaking out is definitely an understatement. Six months post graduation and I am finally understanding the people when they say “Stay in school”.
I woke up the other morning and noticed a break out of pimples all over my shoulders. Who breaks out on their shoulders? Apparently this is a new theme for me when I am stressed. I guess it’s better than sleep paralysis. Only when I napped during the day I would wake up in my dream and hear the outside world around me but I could not open my eyes! It is the most terrifying thing to experience and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. So yeah, I’ll take a few zits.
Last week I went to the gym once. For me, this is unheard of but for the life of me could not drag my lethargic butt anywhere. Instead, I ate Ben & Jerry’s Peanut Butter Cookies n’ Cream Ice Cream. It was satisfying in the moment, but almost a week later and I am still feeling guilty about it.
Even though I have gained 12 pounds of solid muscle I still relapse occasionally. I will get the urge to skip a meal or not eat something with the fear of gaining bad weight. I am in constant recovery with this disorder. And it’s not just the flu you can fight off by drowning yourself in NyQuil and hibernating for a week. If that was the case, I would do it.
I am finally applying to graduate school to pursue a career I am passionate about. If a genie granted me one wish, I would tell my high school senior self to visit more schools, maybe take a year off and weigh out all my options before I jumped the gun. I don’t regret my college experience but I know it would’ve been better if I wasn’t in such a rush to go.
Currently, I am sitting on my mom’s bed watching the World Series. My mom’s bed is comfortable and the TV is right here. Kind of funny, I never really liked sports until a year or two ago. It’s a good distraction because I have to wake up at 4 am tomorrow…which bites but I am out by noon which is awesome, go hospital life. But I will most likely stay up late even though I should be in bed now.
I love this weather. Fall is my favorite season and I am trying to soak up every minute of it, even though the recent storm left the trees practically bare. I broke out my favorite fall scarf which also freaks me out because that means the “W” season is coming. If I don’t say it or think it, maybe it won’t happen.
My eyebrows need a serious shape up. Why is my selfie game strong right after I get them waxed, but then a week later it already looks like a caterpillar crawled above my eyes? If this is also you, please let me know.
Speaking of eyebrows and hair, what is this new hairy nostril trend? Uhhhh no, stop that’s worse than furry nails.
All week I have been off a day. And not behind a day but ahead one day which is making this week drag even longer. I want to say Thank God It’s Friday but Thank God It’s Thursday will have to suffice.
This post took a random turn…which was the point but didn’t know if it would end up here or not. I want my followers and anyone who stumbles upon this article to know my life nor anyone else’s life is perfect. “When you show up authentic, you create the space for others to do the same”. This is my space I have created so others can share and be themselves.
By the way go Houston! They’re winning 🙂